have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
