dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
