The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize