epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm too high and old for this...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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