Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
