don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
