She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
