butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
