so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.