She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
