I'm passing your future prison.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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