He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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