He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
