I heard we made out
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
