i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We're too hungover to prance.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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