His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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