fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
