question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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