If i could tip my vagina, i would.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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