you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
