I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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