Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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