You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
