The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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