He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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