Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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