Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
