If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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