My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
