Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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