No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need water and some morals
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
