I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
