I think my vagina is haunted
you have to choose: penises or morals?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
