sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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