True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
