Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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