today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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