I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize