Just mADE A PArabola og urine
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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