whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize