she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
