You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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