last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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