The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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