Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
