Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
