Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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