"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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