How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
