I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
