You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
