I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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