And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
