can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
