I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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