I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
