yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
