I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
